The first round draw – they’ve got the knack
For pickin balls fae oot the sack,
The right yin’s warm – click-clack, click-clack,
Or oot the pocket,
Five hundred miles tae Nairn an back?
Ah widnae walk it.
Yer famous for yer toon hall clock,
Yer golfin clubs, yer totey loch,
Yer seaside an yer stocks o rock,
An Tilda Swinton,
Or mebbe that yin’s Nairnia. Och,
Whit’s the difference?
An as for us, whit’s Selkirk got?
Bannocks an battles an history. The lot.
Auld Haining hoose – a lovely spot,
An good for a dauner,
The courthouse o Sir Walter Scott –
Oh, and Garry O’Connor.
Noo, naebody’s sayin we’ll beat ye easy,
Thae country roads wid make ye queasy;
The boys’ll be up bright and breezy,
Doon Yarrow Park,
The macaroni pies are cheesy,
And so’s the crack.
But it disnae matter whit ah say,
Us poets yap – we dinnae play,
They’ll dae oor talkin on the day,
Set men fae bairn,
The final scoreline – yin, or twae,
But nane for Nairn.